Please Hear What I’m Not Saying

Just incredibly proud to be one of the poets featured in this wonderful anthology of poetry that is raising money for MIND. Please Hear What I’m Not Saying is available now from Amazon.



The square was crowded with the
coffee shop gait of foreigners
leaning away from their ordinary.
Me too. Awkward on the shoulder
of a world class coxswain turned
irritable technician who
wanted to return to the luxury coach
with or without me. We were.
Young, tasting the flavours of this city
between training sessions, basking in
UV strip lighting before the shadow of
my escalating paranoia snuffed it out.
Breathe. He said, grinding his teeth
as he hoisted me into a seat
then moved further down the aisle.
The month after, I befriended the dawn
we flirted for almost six months
sharing brown bottles of all kinds.
Twenty years on
I still hear birdsong
between my ears
at night



I meditated this morning.

Trying to find a bigger


in the smaller space I currently inhabit.

Days become heavy with illness.

The light lasts longer

yet seems much further away.

The breath helps.

But it’s the first coffee of the day

that reassures me.

I am still alive.

I cried yesterday

and the day before.

I’ll probably cry later today.

But it’s not all Eeyore.

There is beauty too.

Minutes of deep appreciation

for the love in friends and family and myself

to tidy the fear away.

And books and words and TV

Though when I watch yet another episode of dodgy American sci-fi

the other voice in my head keeps turning  up to remind me

it’s not a fucking holiday. 



Spent all weekend taking part in a #52hrFilm challenge and made this visual poem based on a quickly penned piece of flash fiction.

Such fun and great weather!